Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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