ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
50% drunk capacity currently
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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