I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
