I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
