so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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