porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
