i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
