But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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