Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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