I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize