shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
