me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
