My room smells like vodka and shame
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
