shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
