everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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