Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
