Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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