drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
