ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
