Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
