Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
