if you like me you must not know who I am
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize