dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
