my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
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Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
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Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??