We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
whose ass print is on the piano?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.