The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
