And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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