plz talk dirty to me
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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