Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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