how hairy? two words: wookie tits
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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