So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
