I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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