So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
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You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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