Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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