and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
