stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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