I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
