I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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