the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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