toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
