I think my vagina is haunted
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
