did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
