Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
