Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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