i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
