Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
