someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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