OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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