Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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