Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
