Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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