I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize