her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
