just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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