Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
