so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
