I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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