im so drunk with asians
where?
always
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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