I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize